What My Most Embarrassing Moment Taught Me About Forgiveness

by Cindy Moy

My extended family was enjoying lunch at a local pizza buffet when I noticed my sister loading up a plate with dessert pizza. Thinking I would tease her a bit I snuck up behind her, leaned over her shoulder and whispered, “Leave some for everybody else.”

She whipped around and it turned out that was NOT MY SISTER.

To make a bad situation worse, I was so mortified by what I’d done that I burst into tears and caused such a scene attempting to apologize that the woman I'd just insulted ended up consoling me in the middle of the restaurant.

The woman could have reacted in any number of ways. She could have dumped her dessert plate on me. (I wouldn’t have blamed her if she did.) She could have gotten angry and made a cutting remark in return. (Wouldn’t have blamed her if she did.) She could have stormed off to her table and left me there mortified.

Instead, she took a moment before reacting and realized it was an innocent social blunder–and laughed. She told me it was okay. Then she went back to her table and told her lunch party what happened, and they had a good laugh about it, too.

One definition of FORGIVENESS is to cease to feel resentment against an offender.

Was I an offender? Oh yes. Did she have every right to feel resentment toward me? Heck yeah.

Yet this woman forgave me and moved on with her day. That woman set an example for me on how to forgive others. It isn’t always easy but giving other people the benefit of the doubt certainly makes life more pleasant--for everyone.

And where was my real sister while all of this was going on? Over by the mashed potatoes, laughing herself silly.

She saw me sneaking up on that woman and knew exactly what was going to happen but did she stop me? Of course not! Because she's my sister and she knew we were about to have a heck of a story to tell for years to come. I don’t resent her for it. I would have done exactly the same thing.

What resentments could you let go of today?

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Photo by Dmitry Ratushny on Unsplash

Small Choices, Big Impact

by Cindy Moy

Let’s do a quick exercise. I’ll count out 2 seconds and at the end you have to choose Plan A or Plan B.
Plan A is all the fame and fortune you desire.
Plan B is your relationships with the people for whom you care deeply.

Ready?
One-second.
Two-second.
Stop.
Now choose.

Easy right? The problem is that we never get one big choice.
Life is a series of little choices.

It’s a choice of sleeping for another 30 minutes or getting up and making pancakes with the kids. It’s a choice of gathering the family together for a board game or letting everyone scatter to their own electronic devices. It’s a choice of talking to the person seated across from us at dinner or staring at our device du jour.

It’s those daily choices -- the ones that aren’t worth thinking about -- that trip me up. I can't tell you a single Christmas present given or received last year. But a bitchy comment made to me 25 years ago? I can tell you who said it, where we were sitting and what we were doing.

Would it make a difference when we're making our choices to know it's to be our last chance to be with the person or people we care most about? Of course. Years ago my then-husband won two airline tickets at his company picnic. We decided to take our daughter to San Francisco and visit some friends who had chucked it all and bought a vineyard in California. It was to be our first vacation someplace other than New Orleans to visit my husband’s grandmother. 

On New Year’s Day, we boarded a plane—for New Orleans. My husband’s grandmother was very sick and passed away that spring. I’m grateful for the privilege of knowing her. Grateful for being given one last chance to see her, talk to her, hold her, say goodbye. Grateful for one last chance to give her what she wanted most—to see her only great-granddaughter. Grateful for having one last chance to make the most of my family's last chances.  

I’m also sad and angry and full of guilt, even after all these years. We should have visited more.  We should have written more. We should have called more. As the guilt and anger builds, I can come up with a lot of things we should have done, could have done and would have done had we known that time was our enemy. But life doesn't turn on should, could and would – and I am glad because I can't live with that weight on my shoulders.

One songwriter wrote, “Life isn’t graded on a curve.” I find that very discouraging. When all is said and done, I think I would do OK graded on a curve. I try to do the right thing and most of the time I think I succeed. We all know mean, nasty people that allow us to feel superior. They’re usually in front of us on the highways, driving like maniacs.

We rarely know when it’s our last chance. All we can do is make the most of the little choices presented to us every day. The choice to wrestle on the floor with our kids. The choice to get to know a co-worker or reacquaint ourselves with a friend. The choice to help someone in need. The choice to tell the people you care about that you love them.

What choice will you make today, Sister?

I’ll give you 2 seconds to decide.
Ready?
Choose.

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Hot on Tap: First Craft-Brewed Beer for Menopausal Women Debuts

By Katrina Woznicki

Think “craft beer” and you might picture bearded dudes in flannel shirts lamenting about hop bitterness versus malt sweetness.

Think again.

On October 5th, Portsmouth Brewery in Portsmouth, New Hampshire, will introduce LIBEERATION, a craft beer specifically formulated to help women experiencing menopausal symptoms.

The beer is the brain child of almost-58-year-old Joanne Francis, co-owner of The Portsmouth Brewery and Smuttynose Brewing Company, who has been in the brewing industry for 26 years. Joanne was hanging out with her beer-loving girlfriends about five or six years ago, talking about how the beer industry caters heavily to the 21-35 year-old, predominantly male demographic. Meanwhile, the industry that Joanne was a key part of was missing an untapped market: menopausal women who’ve been enjoying beer for 30 years.

To create a beer that could help women going through menopause, Joanne consulted health practitioners, herbalists, a clinical psychologist, and an energy healer. She and her head brewer, Matthew Gallagher, test-tasted a variety of herbs served as hot teas to determine which herbs would make it into the beer.

The eight herbs that made the cut include: chamomile; rose flower; mugwort; damiana; stinging nettle; chickweed; lemon balm; and motherwort. A splash of saphir hops gives the beer a mild tangerine flavor. The result is a one-of-kind, gruit-style ale with a golden color, earthy flavors, and rich with the kind of herbs reported to assist with the symptoms common during menopause: sleeplessness, hot flashes and mood swings.

 “We want to shift the mentality from focusing on the negative aspects of menopause to celebrating the liberating aspects,” said Joanne. “We know it's a fun, crazy, wildly different idea. Our goal is to respect and reach women who truly understand what it means to be hot.”

Already, the reception has been extremely positive. 

Joanne said women are already asking her ‘Why hasn't anyone brewed something like this before?’ 

And apparently men are eager to try the beer, too.

“Women are pumped about it,” she said, “in particular those over 50. But a lot of men have said they, too, can't wait to try it. The flavor is beautifully complex without being heavy or overwhelming to the palette. Some floral notes, enveloped in herbal flavors. [We] who want to raise a glass to honor the positive aspects of menopause and how it liberates us from bad press about this stage in our lives.”

Female-inspired beers may have a bright future. “I have another idea up my sleeve,” said Joanne, “and perhaps we could go into bigger production with LIBEERATION if demand is there.”

LIBEERATION will be available on draft and sold in bottles beginning October 5th, until there’s none left. Bottles are sale for a limited time at the brewery’s retail store at 56 Market Street in Portsmouth, NH. If LIBEERATION proves to be a hit, the beer may become part of the permanent rotation of craft beers served at Portsmouth Brewery.

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