I try to remember that like moods, the dark clouds pass; the sun can’t hide forever.
Hot Flash Sisters & Frostbite Bros
by Cindy Moy, founder of Hot Flash Sisters
I was skimming through the comments after watching a video about perimenopause symptoms and the tone took a decidedly hostile turn toward the opposite gender. I'm talking about the men who shiver next to us when we open the windows in the middle of winter during a hot flash--let's call them the Frostbite Bros.
It's true that men will never understand what it's like to go through perimenopause, but then, that's rather the point of them being men, isn't it?
There's a documentary titled Mansome, produced in part by actors Jason Bateman and Will Arnett that discusses the question of what it means to be a man.
It's good--although I learned a lot more about male grooming habits than I ever wanted to know. I CAN'T UN-SEE THAT YOU KNOW!
I would also dearly like to eliminate the documentary’s discussion of ‘batwings’ from my mind. Google it if you want to know more because we will not be discussing that here.
Apparently masculinity is often directly related the amount of hair on a man and where it is located. As to what an appropriate amount of hair is, and how much should be where, no one on the show could agree.
I will spare you the details because I like you and do not want to traumatize you. Let’s just say that for me, the highlight of the documentary was Bateman and Arnett taking a bath together.
See--I told you. MORE THAN I WANTED TO KNOW.
Anyway, at one point Bateman remarked that “a real man is accountable.”
That seems like a darn good answer to the definition of manhood.
Now I need to go wash out my eyes.
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Are you the person you want to be?
by Cindy Moy, founder of Hot Flash Sisters
In The Dance, author Oriah Mountain Dreamer writes about a dream she had in which she was visited by someone she calls the Grandmother.
In the dream, the Grandmother told the author “The question is not why are you so infrequently the people you really want to be but why do you so infrequently want to be the people you really are.”
And then the Grandmother answered the question saying, “Because you have no faith that who you are is enough.”
Am I the person I really want to be? I’m not sure. This is not how I imagined my life.
Perhaps the problem is when I imagined my life years ago, I forgot to include the details. I skipped over the reality that I’d have to do laundry and clean the bathroom and make dinner EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. It never occurred to me that clients could be so…difficult.
Then there are my girls–my smart, funny, beautiful daughters. Despite all the temper tantrums they’ve thrown, and all the days I spent covered in–how shall I put this?–baby bodily fluids and peanut butter, I adore them. I can’t believe that I get the privilege of being their mom.
My mind constantly balances gratitude for the time with my kids with the anxiety of feeling they could have done much, much better in the mother category.
Are we enough, just as we are?
If yes, why should we strive for anything different?
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